good morning
things have been so good lately…somewhat confusing, but good. i’ve found myself worrying lately though, which isn’t really a good thing. worrying about decisions to make, about the future and where my life is headed. but also worrying about the smallest of things. things that you would probably think are ridiculous! the other day i was reading in matthew with a friend. we were reading matthew 6, where it talks about not worrying because He cares for us. in my bible i had written on the edge of the page “worry= sin/ worry= no faith.” it seems like such a  simple concept but could that really be true? that my worrying is actually sin? it’s as if God has given me direction, yet i’ve been questioning Him and His ways. why? why worry about tomorrow, when today is today…

hey i’m supossed to be going to a concert right now with some friends, but decided to go to barnes and noble to read and write instead. i am loving this weather that we’re having here right now. everything about autumn is so incredibly beautiful…the colors, kids outside running around in leaves, candles lit everywhere in the house, piano being played by someone, reading by a fire…i looove it! if i could live in autumn everyday, i would.

anyway, lately has been good. not only because it’s autumn but because everyday i’m becoming less and less confused. i know that probably sounds weird but its so true! ever since school started up in august it seems like i went around aimlessly each day wondering why i was at school, why i couldn’t just go off and do missions, and questioning everything around me. there was no direction, and if there was any direction, i was always doubting it. not a good way to live…man oh man, i was SO discontent!

over the last couple of weeks God has really been probing my heart and has been showing me what in my life has got to go. what i need to just completely let go and give to Him. so many things, so many people, so many distractions had my heart above Him…no wonder there was so much doubting! my time was spent around my plans, what i was doing and when i was doing it and why i wasn’t in Asia or some other poor country or out with the homeless or doing something extraordinary….and it goes on and on! there was definitely not enough time spent in praying or realizing that i need to be faithful in the small things. what if i never go to another country? or if i never did anything awesome and “great”? isn’t being great in His eyes enough? i think back to the stories of moses and abraham and remember that they lived the most ordinary lives I have ever heard of. they were simple shepherds and farmers and didn’t have any great stature at all. yet, they lived extraordinary lives. they were faithful in what God had given them and He was glorified. they were called blessed.

“but [He] made himself of no reputation , and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men…” (phil. 2:7)

…who are they talking about here? Jesus….He came as an ordinary man, a carpenter, and yet He lived the most extraordinary life. He took the form of a servant and hung around those that were the “least of these…” yet He was our Savior. He was called blessed!

so those are some thoughts that i have been thinking through and trying to process. even in the midst of all my confusion and crazy pride, He is still teaching…our God is so good! i think i’m going to the gym now for some good ole running. (or at least, try to run..we’ll see how long i’ll last) mmmm, hope you all are blessed, enjoy this weather, and savor this good season of life! love you all!

arielle

this past weekend i was in chicago with my family…it was so good! one of the days that we were there i convinced my mom to get on a taxi with me and take a train to downtown chicago.

we went to go look for a taxi when a taxi driver from uganda came up to us. he said that he could take us to the nearest train station, so he did. as we jumped into his taxi (his company was called “God’s Will Never Fails Taxi Service”- awesome, right!?) i started asking him questions about uganda and what life was like there. he told us that he grew up in a christian home. his village, his school, his church….all was christian. i was sort of surprised because, for some reason, when i think of africa i tend to think of aids, poverty, and typically non-christian people.

he went on to say something that really broke my heart. he said something like “when i came to America, you know, i was so surprised. i look around and i see that there is so much freedom here. so much religious freedom. and no one talks about God, no one likes to talk about Him…especially christians. they just seem to keep it to themselves! in uganda, it is not like this but in america, it is a sad thing.” he continued to go on about his life and what he is doing here but what he said still has me thinking.

do i want to be like that? am i among the american christians that he was talking about? am i someone who just keeps Christ to myself? i think so often i do…i really do. but how can I, when He is the only thing worth living for? this… is definitely what i feel like… ..

i’m learning what it means to be real. you know? to be real, authentic, and just totally and completely transparent. i think for so long i was so afraid of what others thought of me or trying to appear a certain way so that people could say something like, “yea, she’s godly…she know’s her verses and her bible, etc..” ….a sense of spiritual pride. doesn’t that sound like some people in the bible whom Jesus despised? the pharisees, maybe..

now, i’m coming to a point in my life where i am learning to put aside men’s opinions and their approval. i’m learning and seeing just how much i have to learn and am humbled at the fact of how small i really am. if my life is saturated in the love of Christ and if i am in love with the God of this beautiful universe, why should it matter what others think of me? doesn’t that seem so temporal? why should i be concerned and caught up in the things of this world and care if i am accepted by others if i am His?

earlier today i was listening to francis (he always has some real good truth to share, check em out) and he said that we, as Christians, are going to be persecuted for our faith. at some point or another in our lives, if we are really living for Christ, we will be persecuted because of our faith in Him. this could be with family, friends, or..whoever, really. so i am sitting here thinking… if i really, truly love Jesus with everything in me, my life should ultimately reflect that love. my life is His and taking a stand for things that are eternal, true, pure, and right is a daily choice that is to be made. at the end of the day, will people wonder and will i have been a light because of this beautiful love? of this man named Jesus Christ? or will i sit back and live just like the rest of the world because i am afraid? as paul once said:

“am i now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? or am I trying to please men? if I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

we have one life to live…that’s it. we’re here, and like a vapor..we’re gone. i wish i could put it a little more nicely but honestly, this life is so short-lived friends…it’s temporal. things that are here right now….our fancy cars, nice tvs, material possesions, popularity, people’s opinions…they will all be gone. but Christ, He will stand forever. i am not living for this world, but for something more. something eternal. and so…i will be real, authentic, and wholly devoted to Him. i will be a light for Him, for His names sake…

just some thoughts,
much love

arielle

“but when you ask Him, be sure that you really expect Him to tell
you, for a doubtful mind will be as unsettled as a wave of the sea
that is driven and tossed by the wind; and every decision you then
make will be uncertain, as you turn first this way and then that. if
you don’t ask with faith, don’t expect the Lord to give you any solid
answer.” james 1:6-8

Lord, help my unbelief. (the answer to uncertainty is to trust.)

… trusting in Your plans, not mine. Your will, not mine.

trusting You. in faith.