October 18, 2008

  • hey :) i’m supossed to be going to a concert right now with some friends, but decided to go to barnes and noble to read and write instead. i am loving this weather that we’re having here right now. everything about autumn is so incredibly beautiful…the colors, kids outside running around in leaves, candles lit everywhere in the house, piano being played by someone, reading by a fire…i looove it! if i could live in autumn everyday, i would.

    anyway, lately has been good. not only because it’s autumn but because everyday i’m becoming less and less confused. i know that probably sounds weird but its so true! ever since school started up in august it seems like i went around aimlessly each day wondering why i was at school, why i couldn’t just go off and do missions, and questioning everything around me. there was no direction, and if there was any direction, i was always doubting it. not a good way to live…man oh man, i was SO discontent!

    over the last couple of weeks God has really been probing my heart and has been showing me what in my life has got to go. what i need to just completely let go and give to Him. so many things, so many people, so many distractions had my heart above Him…no wonder there was so much doubting! my time was spent around my plans, what i was doing and when i was doing it and why i wasn’t in Asia or some other poor country or out with the homeless or doing something extraordinary….and it goes on and on! there was definitely not enough time spent in praying or realizing that i need to be faithful in the small things. what if i never go to another country? or if i never did anything awesome and “great”? isn’t being great in His eyes enough? i think back to the stories of moses and abraham and remember that they lived the most ordinary lives I have ever heard of. they were simple shepherds and farmers and didn’t have any great stature at all. yet, they lived extraordinary lives. they were faithful in what God had given them and He was glorified. they were called blessed.

    “but [He] made himself of no reputation , and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men…” (phil. 2:7)

    …who are they talking about here? Jesus….He came as an ordinary man, a carpenter, and yet He lived the most extraordinary life. He took the form of a servant and hung around those that were the “least of these…” yet He was our Savior. He was called blessed!

    so those are some thoughts that i have been thinking through and trying to process. :) even in the midst of all my confusion and crazy pride, He is still teaching…our God is so good! i think i’m going to the gym now for some good ole running. (or at least, try to run..we’ll see how long i’ll last) :) mmmm, hope you all are blessed, enjoy this weather, and savor this good season of life! love you all!

    arielle